Patient Resources

Things to Stop Doing When Diagnosed with Infertility

If you are diagnosed with infertility, you may be making things harder on yourself without even realizing it. Perhaps you are so used to feeling this way that you forgot what it was like before your struggles with fertility. Take note of the following things that you may be doing, and work on halting these bad habits:

Blaming Yourself

You may feel like you waited too long to start a family, or that the decisions you made when you were younger had a negative effect on your fertility. On the other hand, you might have no idea what could have caused your infertility, but you think it could have been prevented if you had known better. Stop blaming yourself; most cases of infertility are unpredictable or unpreventable. Focus instead on moving forward.

Struggling in Silence

Although you may not be comfortable telling everyone in your life about your fertility challenges, keeping it a total secret can be painful. The shame that grows within while hiding your challenges can be lessened by telling someone you trust. Carefully consider who you feel comfortable confiding in. If one person reacts poorly, don’t let it stop you. You will find someone that you can be transparent with, and you will find relief in knowing that you don’t have to hold it all in anymore.

Living in Two-Week Increments

When trying to conceive, you can easily fall into the routine of waiting for ovulation for two weeks, then waiting two weeks to take a pregnancy test. The cycle is endless and turns into an anxious waiting game. It is unrealistic to think you can just drop all your worries in an instant, but try to focus on things other than ovulation and pregnancy tests each day. You may need support, but it is possible to start living your life outside this never-ending cycle.

Viewing Your Sex Life Negatively

Sexual intercourse can go from passionate to a chore when infertility gets added into the equation. Before you started trying to conceive, you likely viewed sex differently since the goal was not focused on getting pregnant. All of the things you used to enjoy about sexual activity may have faded with your diagnosis. Start trying to think of the things you enjoyed about sex before you were trying to conceive, and try to bring those aspects back to life. 


The North Carolina Center for Reproductive Medicine/Talbert Fertility Institute is the premiere center for reproductive health in North Carolina and the East Coast. Our team specializes in fertility testing, diagnosis, and treatment of infertility conditions. We’re experts in IVF, Tubal Ligation Reversal, Male Infertility, Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), Gestation Surrogacy, Family Balancing, and more. Contact us today.

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